My son

I was just talking to my oldest son on the phone, and I'm a little bit teary-eyed.  He's falling in love, although I'm not sure he realizes it. I think I'm seeing the beginning of a pathway that is going to lead to me not being the most important woman in his life.  That's a good thing; I want him to have love and a family and all that...but I don't know this woman yet, so I'm a little apprehensive.  Jake is no fool, and he's not a child. He knows what he wants in life and he isn't afraid to tell people to go away and he isn't afraid to walk away, so probably it's okay.  But it makes me sad and proud to see what a wonderful young man he has grown up to be, and to see him taking his first steps on this new journey and knowing what a trip it is going to be.


And trust my child to test me.  He's falling for a woman who is five years older than him, a woman who is divorced, a woman who has two children.  Every motherly instinct in my body wants to tell him to run and find someone who hasn't already had a bad experience with love...but I can't do that.

I once WAS a woman who was divorced with two young children, and it didn't make me a bad bet.  I fought against a lot of prejudice from men and mothers who thought I must be looking for a daddy for my kids, that I must be looking for someone to support me financially, that I must be desperate to latch onto any man that would stand still, but that was never the case.

From what I understand, this young woman is "such a good mom, just like you are.  She takes such good care of her kids and she doesn't NEED anybody to help her."  I can only hope that is true.

Bottom line is this:  I don't care what road she's been down or what block she's been around.  I care if she loves my son and treats him right and if she wants to join him in the life that he has chosen.  I hope he doesn't fall in love and give up his ideals or give in at the first sign of trouble.   It's hard enough to be married, it's even harder to raise children.  It's incredibly hard to start out marriage with children and deal with the other parents and all that goes along with that.

But who knows.  He isn't one to get in a hurry.  I may look back at this two years from now and laugh.  But I heard words and emotions from him tonight that I've never heard in 26 years, and I think he's taken a few steps in that direction.  We shall see. 

At least he isn't going to move to England, like my daughter!!!!!  Which is a whole different story.  We'll get to that someday.