I meant to start with a bang....

This may ramble a bit, but I have all these things running through my head and I need to say them.  Also, I know that six months from now I won't remember most of this, so this is my memory.  :)

First, so far the week has been a little rough.  Not in a whiny "please give me pity" sort of way, but in a "help me laugh at how ridiculous my life is" kind of way.  So Sunday I started getting a sore throat.  Not a huge surprise, as approximately 73.605% of the people I know are sick right now, and one of them *cough Jenny cough* was at our house for Thanksgiving, and apparently shared a little too much.  HA  Anyway, so I was getting a sore throat.  Then I woke up in the middle of the night nauseous, and spent about five hours going to the bathroom every 45 minutes to do very unpleasant things.

On one particularly memorable bathroom visit, I fainted, and face-planted onto the floor and gave myself a concussion.  So Monday I didn't work, I made the mistake of calling my doctor, hoping he would say "You fall if you lean over, and when you are laying in bed, if you turn on your right side you feel like you are falling?  That's nothing to worry about.  Just rest and watch a few more hours of Gilmore Girls.  You'll be fine."  But no.  Of course he insisted that I go to the ER and get it checked out.  So after spending seven hours in the ER, getting a CT scan, two bags of IV fluids and two huge -- I mean choke a horse HUGE -- potassium pills, I get to come home and get very little sleep and then go to work.

So today, I have what I am pretty sure is bronchitis, I'm losing my voice, my throat hurts, and I'm very grateful to have ONLY bronchitis.  Honestly, once the concussion wears off, life is all good.  LOL

So also, I just have to say this.  I said it earlier to Stu, but I want to share.  (explains the title)

         I meant to start my week with a bang, but I accidently started it with a THUD.

(pause for applause.  and groans)

anyway, I don't care what you say; it's okay that it took me two days to come up with that!  I had a concussion!!! 

But that's not what I came here to say.

I came here to say this.  I would like to share my list of my top few favorite purely physical sensations.

Don't stop reading...it's okay...there are rules here.  I don't mean emotional moments that can be confused as physical; the sweet, sticky hug and kiss of a toddler, the passionate (hopefully non-sticky) embrace and kiss of a lover, any kind of sexual activity at all....because in my life, at least, there is all kinds of emotion attached to that.  I'm talking p.h.y.s.i.c.a.l.

Like, for instance, sinking down into a perfectly heated hot tub at the end of a long day.  It is just hard to beat that.  It's a little chilly in the hot tub room, and the water is perfect and bubbly and the tub is comfortable...and feeling that wonderful warmth all over is just SO amazing. I sink down into the water, and let my body adapt to the heat...and then I reach over and turn the motor on, and the water starts moving, and it feels good all over again.  *sighs*  Hot water does not get nearly enough attention in our world.  We take it so for granted, but it is the best thing ever.

 Or slapping the snooze button, and curling up under the covers for a few more minutes, after feeling just a second of that cold air that's waiting for you out in reality.

A really good foot rub, having someone wash my hair..which is usually followed by a cut and style....all good things.  Sitting by a fireplace reading a good book. 

Now, I realize that some people might argue that perhaps the sensation of flying down a mountain of snow with little boards strapped to your feet is more exhilarating, or racing a car or jumping out of a plane or something that requires an adrenalin rush -- but I'm simply not that kind of girl.  Give me a recliner to watch the leaves fall, a slow drive through the country, a comfortable chair and a fireplace, and for the love of all that is holy, give me a hot tub.  :)  I'll be happy forever.

And just for the record....I would rather have Cory than the hot tub....but that isn't what we're talking about here. 

More words

Current mood:annoyed

responsibility

professionalism

sacrifice

thought for the day:  How do the LACK of these qualities make a person the perfect employee?

 
 

(answer for the day:  Duh!!!  they freakin DON'T!!!!!)

 

Note to Myself

hey, this is a note to ME!!!  Why are you reading it?

 

remember these words for future posts:

nepotism

frustration

idiocracy  (ha...that movie is less and less funny all the time)

pandemonium (since Tom probably doesn't like the word clusterf*** as much as I do)

incompetant

unbelieving

uncaring

pointless

tortuous

alcoholism

catatonic

homocide

also, research various types of mental illness...refer to the physicians desk reference for help diagnosing current mental status....maybe there's a pill?

 

• ask Karmen and Brandi about therapy options.....
  go to the strip...buy more rum.  
  make appointment for pedi.
  buy more rum
  check on price of houses in cancun area
  buy more rum.......
  oh goody, the pizza is here!!!  c ya

The Word of the Day

Current mood:aggravated

Demoralizing

1.  to deprive a person of spirit, courage, discipline, etc.  Destroy the morale of (the continuous barrage demoralized the infantry)

2.  to throw a person into disorder and confusion;  bewilder  (we were so demoralized by that one wrong turn that we were lost for hours)

3.  to corrupt or undermine the moral of

Okay, no one has corrupted or undermined my morals.  At least not lately.....but I have been deprived of my spirit and courage.  There is no discipline.  I'm disordered and confused.  I'm a little bewildered.  I'm thinking of giving up.

 
 

and I'm only exaggerating a little bit.

Check back tomorrow for the truth about 'nepotism'.

 
 

It’s only a headline, people!

Current mood:annoyed

It isn't my philosophy of life.  It's a one-liner that probably made me laugh.

Better a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.....not a philosophy of life, I just think it's funny.  I don't drink very  much.  I mean, I enjoy a drink now and then, but I do not use alcohol to solve my problems.  I use Lortab to solve my problems.  HA HA HA  See, that was another joke. Get it?

 
 

And my latest headline?  Sex is not the answer.  Sex is the question.  Yes is the answer.

I think it's funny.  It's phrased in a very witty manner that is pleasing to me.  It made me chuckle, so I thought I would share it with the world.  IT DOES NOT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A SLUT!!  My mini skirt makes me look like  slut.  (are you picking up on the jokes yet?  Have you GROWN a sense of humor?)

 
 

Anyway.  If you are interested in hearing my philosophy of life, we'll have to get together sometime and discuss it over some kidney beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.  The highlights are below.

 
 

Sex is fun.  I like it.  But it is not something I partake in randomly or with men that I don't care about. 

Relationships do not have rewind buttons, so you should be careful with them.

Alcohol is like salt.  A little bit is a good thing.  It can add some flavor to life.  Too much is bad, and it ruins your taste.

If you pass up an opportunity to do something that you aren't sure about, you'll probably have another opportunity later in life.  If you DO something you aren't sure about, and you end up regretting it, you can never undo it.  Or, as my Mama says more succintly, 'when in doubt, don't'

Another gem of wisdom from my mother?  "if there's a problem everywhere you go, chances are good that YOU are the problem"

And now, trying to sum up my philosophies for you, suddenly Mac Davis singing "I Believe in Music" is running through my head. 

 
 

Music is love and love is music if you know what I mean
People who believe in music are the happiest people I've ever seen
So clap your hands and stomp your feet and shake those tambourines
Lift your voices to the sky; tell me what you see.

Music is the universal language, and love is the key
To peace hope and understanding, and living in harmony
So take your brother by the hand and come along with me
Lift your voices to the sky, tell me what you see.

I believe in Music.  I believe in Love.

 
 

and I'm not a slut, no matter what my headline says.  K?  k. cya

Pondering

• Mar 21, 2008
  

  Current mood:aggravated
  

  I think I have it figured out.  Something that I've always said as a joke isn't a joke at all.
  

   
   

  Follow my logic here.
  

   
   

  The problem:  I've had a headache pretty consistently for the last two weeks.  It won't go away.  I've taken a bottle of Motrin.  I've slept for hours on end.  I've soaked my body in a tub of hot lavendar scented water...with a rag over my eyes to block the light.  I've tried drinking...and not drinking...eating...and not eating.  It will NOT go away.
  

   
   

  The possibilities for cause:  I've been a little sick.  My throat hurts.  The weather is weird...you know how the change in temperature can affect your body, right?  Maybe it's a tumor.  (It's NOT A TUMAH!!!!!)   Stress?  The good old standby, stress?
  

   
   

  My hypothesis:  Stupid people make my brain hurt.
  

   
   

  So, the good news is I know WHY I have the headache.  The bad news?  Not a damn blasted thing I can do about it.
  

   
   

  I'm going back to my old headline.  Better a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
  

My new iPhone

• Feb 2, 2008
  So, here's how this works.
  Today my ex-husband bought me an i-phone.  No, really.  He did.  I don't know why...probably the beer he had at lunch contributed.....but he did.
  I mention this mostly because he told me I should say something on myspace about my ex buying me a phone and I told him I would and he said I would not and you know how those conversations go....but I have to prove that I'm right and he's not.  So ...I guess I'm done with that part now.  LOL
  Anyway, so I'm incredibly jazzed about this and way excited to activate my new phone so I go rushing right to a computer, and
  i find out that the version of itunes I have isn't good enough.
  it doesn't support the iphone.  so i have to download a newer version of itunes.
  okay.
  so i go to download a newer version of itunes, and i find out that the version of windows i have isn't good enough.
  it doesn't support the newer version of itunes.
  so i go to a different computer that has a newer version of windows and a newer version of itunes, and i hook up my phone, and it doesn't work.  i get some weird message about my sim card.
  wtf?
  so i call the guy that sold the phone, and he says that it's definately an itunes issue and i need to talk to the iphone support people, so he calls them for me.
  of course, i waited on hold for a while to get the at&t guy, and then i waited on hold for a while (a long while) to get the iphone guy, and he looked around at some stuff and told me that i'd have to talk to the at&t people because they didn't capture my serial number to my account or something.
  so we called them back, and waited on hold.  naturally.
  and they said that they can't activate my phone because it's a business account.
  now, i would like to point out that when the phone was purchased, it was done so with the clear understanding that it was for a business account.
  and when you open the screen in itunes to activate the phone, it asks if it is a personal account or a business account.
  but NOW they say that you can't have an iphone on a business account.
  so I'll have to change the name on my account before I can activate my phone.
  and i said 'fine.  do it' and they said, 'well, you have to call the business center'
  so we called the business center.  but they were closed.  so now I have to wait until monday to activate my phone.
  this sucks.
  this is the coolest thing I've ever had in my life, and all I can do is look at it.
  i want to play with my phone.
  damn.
  first the chick last night didn't have the stuff I wanted in inventory and now I can't activate my iphone.
  I have a lot of new toys and nothing to play with.
  :(
  poor me.
  (LMAO)

This Week

Current mood:adventurous

Yeah, just a typical week in the life of Kathy.  Ha ha ha ha ha.  (not really)

So last Friday I took a day off work, and drove to San Angelo with Nikki to see Aaron Watson and Zeb.  We stood in line for so long we almost missed Zeb, but we saw the end of his show and we stayed at the same hotel with Aaron, so that was fun.

Saturday it took me ALL DAY LONG to drive home from San Angelo.  I actually stopped in Big Springs and rented a room to take a nap.  Pitiful.

Sunday I never got dressed.  I was a lazy bum all day and I loved it.

So Monday night I went to Girls Night Out at the Cactus with Brandi, and stayed out until the wee hours of the morning making friends with new people and getting reacquainted with some old friends.

Tuesday I came to work feeling the effects of Monday night.  :)  Tuesday night I got a call from my daughter because she was driving down the road and the wheel fell off her car.  I hate when that happens.  She's okay, so I'm okay...but her car isn't so good, and the guard rail that she hit has some new scratches.

Wednesday I cooked hot dogs for supper.

Thursday I saw the Ten Tenors and loved 'em.  Especially that cute blondish one.  And now it's late Thursday night and I'm working and tomorrow I will sleep late then I will work some more then I'm going to a FUN party at Brandi's....then probably out til the wee hours again.

I'm not sure whose life I'm living in, but it doesn't seem like mine.  :)

 
 

It's just weird....for one thing, I never cook hot dogs.  ???  What's up with that?

Impartial Opinion needed

• Jan 22, 2008
  Current mood:confused
  
  
  Okay people.  Those of you who know us all.  ;)  We're having big arguments in my house about this picture.
  I think it's Carson.  Cade thinks it's Carson.  Jake thinks it's Cade.  Carson thinks it's Cade.
  
   
  Opinions?
• (for reference...THIS is Cade.)
  
  
  
   
  I've had both of these pictures in a frame on a shelf for the last eight years.  I refuse to believe that I have had two pictures of Cade side by side in a frame for all this time.
  Can't you SEE the mole on Carson's upper lip?  Is that my imagination?
  
   
  Seriously.  Help me.
  
   
  lmao

Things I wish

• Jan 18, 2008
  

  Current mood:bummed
  

  In no particular order....
  

  I wish my tax money would be here already.
  

  I wish important choices were clear cut and obvious.
  

  I wish it was going to be 85 degrees and sunny tomorrow.
  

  I wish Florida was close enough to drive to for a weekend.
  

  I wish I could see a Bellamy Brothers show.  Right now.
  

  I wish I could lose ten pounds while I'm sleeping.  Twice.
  

  I wish that on my playlist Jeff Bailey was singing Crying.  No offense to Roy....but omg Jeff can sing that song.
  

  I wish my kids would stop with the mono already.
  

  I wish some select parts of Robert Heinlein novels would come true.
  

  I wish I could force my kids to learn from mistakes that I already made.
  

  I wish that those adorable black shoes that I bought last week were more comfortable.
  

  I wish I had a remote to the tv in my hand so I could turn off that annoying show without standing up.
  

  I wish I could figure out why that guy from Mad Money looks so damned familar.
  

  I wish the world had all happy people, then there'd be no more wishing to do......ooohhhhhh.....    ha  I crack myself up.  Nobody is going to get that.
  

  and oh, I wish.  I wish I wish I wish.
  

Paperwork and Pills

• Jan 7, 2008
  

  Current mood:annoyed
  

  So sometimes personal business and BUSINESS business gets mixed up together, right?  It does in my life, okay?  Deal with it.  :)
  

  So I'm at work, and I'm having a 'clean off my desk day' because it's a little over due.  Between taking off for surgery and working part time for most of December and doing inventory and dealing with end of year issues in Payroll....well, my desk is a mess.
  

  So I'm going through the piles of paper sorting out worker's comp claims and insurance certificate/W9 requests from the cash audit sheets and the vehicle registrations.  I have tax levies from the IRS (on people that haven't worked here in FIVE FREAKIN YEARS!!!)  I have credit card payments that need to be posted, and I have flexplan forms/I-9 forms/insurance enrollments to deal with.
  

  In the middle of this mess, I get a call from a former employee who wonders if he missed his last check...because...are you ready?  "well, the first week I worked, you know, I didn't get a check.  Then I got paid for the last week that I worked, but since I didn't get a check the FIRST week, shouldn't I get that check now?"  So for the nine hundredth time in my life I explained that we don't actually keep the first check, we just give it to you ONE week late.  Then every week you get paid for last week.  See how that works?  so if you GOT your paycheck for the last week that you worked, then you got all your money.  Okay?  (I always wonder if the former employee on the other end of the phone line wonders what that banging sound is...it is, of course, my head hitting my desk.  Repeatedly.)  THEN he called back two seconds later to see if he could change his address for his W-2 form.  Well, of course.  Let me just get back into payroll and open up your file.  Again.  You loser.  And then he says "can I just come pick up my W-2?"  um.  it's January 7th.  IT'S NOT READY YET!!!!!
  

  Anyway.  So I have paper piled up everywhere and ninety different things going on at once and I move a pile of paper and see the personal business (empty pill bottle) that I put on my desk this morning so I wouldn't forget.  Yeah, time to refill my anti depressants.
  

   
   

  can anybody say 'cause and effect'?  :)
  

  Would you like to hear about my daughter's blown transmission?  No?  Would you like to take me out for a cherry bomb?  Call me.  ha
  

   
   

  and of course, the most appropriate way to deal with this type of problem is take a break and post a blog on myspace.....LOL
  

  
   

Nashville and fairy tales

• Oct 16, 2007
  

  In case any of you wondered, I had a really good time in Nashville.  The conference was good, the keynote speaker made me laugh and got stupid songs stuck in my head....I learned some good things in some of the sessions....and I got a good nap one day when there were only useless sessions right after lunch.  :)
  

  I spent some time walking around on Broadway listening to music (yeah, like the t-shirt said "I went bar-hopping on Broadway").  Good stuff.  I saw a guy that almost won Nashville Star.  LOL
  

  I saw the Country Music Hall of Fame (cool) and the Opry Mills Mall (just a damn mall) and I got to sit and look at a river for a while. 
  

  I came home in time to make it to the Bellamy Brothers show, which was awesome!  I got to hang and talk to the band guys a little, and I did get some pictures with them (I told you so!!!!) but I haven't processed them yet.
  

  Lazy me.  :)
  

   
   

  Hey, I was a little bored one night in the hotel, so I started writing a story.  A fairy tale.  Tell me what you think.....
  

   
   

  Once upon a time in a land far away there was a beautiful princess who was perfectly happy with her life, and then she met a prince.  She kissed him, and he turned into a frog.  So she left.  Then he stopped paying his child support, and now he owes her eleven thousand dollars.  and she's living happily ever after without him, even though she can't afford to pay her bills anymore.
  

  ha
  

The Bellamy Brothers

• Sep 19, 2007
  

  Current mood:silly
  

  Yeah, so I'm a little obsessed, so what?  :)  I was just posting my pictures, and I'm a little dissatisfied with my ability to put captions under the pictures.  I mean, I put some captions on there, but I can never say what I want.  I guess I should add pictures to my blog, that would be better.  ha
  

  See, here's the thing.  There are no pictures of Michael Tucker (the drummer) and you can look at my pictures all day long and most of you will never notice that lack, but it makes me mad.  I like Michael.  He's my favorite-ist drummer ever.  (yeah, he's better than Tico was back in the day. )  But it's so freaking hard to get a good picture of him because for ONE thing he's always at the back of the stage.  (imagine that, a drummer being at the back of the stage....) and for ANOTHER thing he's usually behind one of those um, things that they use for drummers.  LOL  Man, am I doing a good job explaining this.  But you know what I mean.  The plexiglass or whatever it is little whatever that makes the lights shine weird when you try to take a picture,  THEN there's the thing where he throws his hair around.  Now sure, that's part of what I like about him.  Mike (you don't mind if I call you Mike, do you?) Mike has some truly great hair...and I love the way he tosses it around while he's playing....but it doesn't help the picture taking opportunities much.  I did get some pictures in Ruidoso...of his hair covering his face...but they are so dark you can barely see who it is.  :(
  

  but it's okay, cause I have a plan.  (insert evil laugh here)
  

  so the Bellamys are coming to Lubbock on Oct 12, and I'm gonna be there.  In case none of you realize the depth of my desire to see this show AGAIN, let me just tell you this.  I'm going to be in Nashville for a few days in October for a payroll conference...so I have a free trip to Nashville. (well, okay...technically it isn't free, it's pretty freaking expensive, but I'M not paying for it....so, you know..free.)   The conference ends on Friday afternoon.  The airfare home is actually so much cheaper on Saturday than it is on Friday that I could have kept the hotel room for one more night and still saved money, it would have been cheaper to spend Friday night in Nashville.
  

  Friday night in Nashville, people.  But no.  I'm coming home - on the more expensive flight (that I'm not even paying for) so that I'll be home in time to see the Bellamys.  So I'll wake up in Nashville, and fly home and go to the Wild West.  It'll be a little culture shock, but I can take it.  :)
  

  and the plan?  Well, I'm taking my camera to the show, and I'm going to get some pictures of these people....BEFORE they get on the stage.  Not that I intend to be a pest or anything, but honestly, these guys love me.  Really.  They do.  (yeah yeah, i'm rolling in the floor.  I'm not actually delusional, okay?  stop worrying)  But here's the thing, they've seen me enough times that they recognize me.  Not recognize in the 'oh look!  There's Kathy!!!' kind of way....more in a 'oh look...there she is again' kind of way.  :)  But Michael knows my name.  We've had actual conversations.  The Bellamys aren't even the first band he's ever been in that I loved, so there!  I'm a Michael fan from WAY back.  Like when Jake was in diapers - and he's turning 21 in two days.  (that's a whole different blog right there)
  

   
   

  anyway.  Michael doesn't think i'm totally nuts, and he talks to me.  And Randy talks to me.  Randy even gives me hugs when it's time to go.  (and once he kissed me from the stage but I'm not gonna talk about that because YOU might misunderstand and think I'm a groupie, and I'm not)  Wally smiles at me, and he waves sometimes.  Like when we're all in the same hotel and we see each other in the parking lot.  Speaking of being in the same hotel, I ran into Larry at the elevator, and he was friendly too, and he smiled and waved from the stage later, so SEE!!! They love me.  (they don't run and hide, therefore they love me.)  work with me here, people. 
  

  so the plan is I'll take my camera and when I get to the show I'll find the guys and say, 'hey, honey....can I get a picture with you?' and without fail they will smile and say ' of course!!  I'd love that! Will you e-mail me a copy?'  and there you go...I'll have pictures of me and Randy and me and Wally and me and Larry and me and Michael...you see where I'm going with this?
  

  Now - I would love...truly LOVE to have a picture with David and Howard too, but that's a little harder.  They spend a little less time walking around in the bar before the show, you know? Now they are very friendly and relatively open to meetings...I actually got them to pose for a picture once already...a long time ago....but before you start thinking I'm greedy, let me explain.
  

  I went to Clovis and saw them play at the Dairy Fest.  When the show was almost over I ran to the back of the stage and when they came down I asked if i could get a picture,and David said "sure."  Actually it was like a fairly long almost discouraging pause, then 'sure', but I'll take what I can get.  So I say 'thank you....' and I turn around to hand the camera to my son, and my son is not there.  Not one of my sons was there.  I mean, all three of them were THERE...somewhere...but not close to me.  Those ungrateful little turds.  (jk jk jk)  But they have deserted me in my time of need.  So I hand my camera to one of the security guys (nice job, btw...stand there and watch while the crazy lady bothers the stars....) and ask him to take the picture. David and Howard stand there nicely, with their arms around me (hehehehe) and the dude looks at the camera and scrunches up his face and I explain how it works (um, look at the big window on the back, and when it looks good, push the button on top)  and he stands there and looks, and he pushes the button, and I tell David and Howard thank you SO much and they go off and get on the bus.  Then I look at the picture. There's not a face in it.  Seriously, not one face.  Three people, not one face. Actually, he didn't even get Howard in the picture at all. It's me and David, from shoulders to hips.  JUST the memory I was looking for.  geez.  How can you not know how to work a digital camera?
  

  So I need to try this again, in a more controlled atmosphere...with Calvin holding the camera, maybe.  But how to get them to stand still again....there's the dilemma.  Now of course, if Michael, who for some reason has my myspace url were to actually LOOK at this page, and say he even took the time to read my blog (and decide that I AM crazy after all, and maybe he shouldn't talk to me anymore....or maybe he'd just think I'm funny) but just SAY he took the time to look me up and read my blog, and say while they're on the bus riding down the highway he might say something like 'hey guys, we all need to get pictures with Kathy tonight in Lubbock...David, Howard...she wants a pic with you guys, so make it happen, okay?'  I mean, it COULD happen, right?
  

  It could too.  shut up.
  

  I'm going to stop rambling now and go to bed.  But just in case Michael or Randy is really reading this...(LMAO) I seriously need some pictures, okay? and hey, could you get David to sing Persuaded again?  I've totally given up on She's Gone With the Wind, I'm not even asking for Highway of Regret, don't really expect to hear Life is a Beach...but come ON!  Persuaded shouldn't be that much of a stretch.  I haven't heard Rip Off the Knob in an awfully long time either.  :)  Really, I'm leaving now.  (and no, I don't really believe that anybody is still reading.  you bunch of damn lightweights.)
  

Headlines

• Aug 22, 2007
  

  Current mood:content
  

  I like headlines. I'm a girl who has gone through life threatening to put everything I think on a t-shirt so people CAN read my mind. The problem with that is I change my mind too often. 
  

  Vince's headline is "I'm SOFA KING tired". I'd steal that from him if I didn't mind being a stealer. But, you know, I kind of do. I don't mind stealing lines from songs or phrases from books or (currently) a quote from a sign hanging on a wall in Lincoln, NM…but I draw the line at stealing a headline from a guy that lives on the next block. So although I am, indeed, sofa king tired…my headline will never say that.
  

  It might say some of these things someday. Um, does it make me a dork to have a file of 'headlines I might use someday'? Do I care??? Not so much.
  

  So…..possible future headlines.
  

  A lot of love and a little laughter, you'll find out that's all that really matters.
  

  If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
  

  Faith makes things possible. Not easy. (and Nikki used that one, but it wouldn't be stealing, cause she stole it from me. LOL)
  

  Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be - Abraham Lincoln
  

  If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
  

  What's the definition of an impotent loser? A guy who can't even get his hopes up.
  

  Flies spread disease -- keep yours zipped.
  

  A waist is a terrible thing to mind….
  

  I thought I wanted a career, turns out I only wanted paychecks.
  

  And like Carson says….. I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
  

   
   

Sloganizing

Aug 10, 2007

Seriously, you should probably just skip this.  I haven't even written it yet, and I'm telling you to skip it.

Unless you are as tired and confused and desperate and desperately tired as I am...you probably won't think this is funny.  But it's making me laugh, and that's good enough for me.

:)

So I'm playing with the little sloganize website, and I did my name and it was fun and whatever.  But (as you all know) I'm currently obsessed with the Bellamy Brothers, I decided to sloganize Bellamy.

 
 

And I'm having some fun now (see, if YOU were obsessed with the Bellamy Brothers, you would know why THAT is funny.  But you don't, and I'm not telling.)

 
 

So here are my Bellamy slogans.  I may get some t-shirts.  LOL

Wouldn't you like to be a Bellamy too?

So Easy, no wonder Bellamy is 1

More than just a Bellamy

Bellamy, take me away

Nobody does it like Bellamy

All Bellamy, all the time.  (HEY!!!  That's like my cd player.)  :)

Probably the best Bellamy in the world.

Do the Bellamy

Tonight, let it be Bellamy

Choosy mothers choose Bellamy

Get the Bellamy habit

It's Bellamy time.  (and when isn't it Bellamy time?)

Get Serious.  Get Bellamy

Great Bellamy.  Great Times.

Things go better with Bellamy

What would YOU do for a Bellamy?

Show me the Bellamy!!

Feel the Bellamy

Get back your 'ooo' with Bellamy

I want my Bellamy

Nothing works better than a Bellamy

Nobody better lay a finger on my Bellamy

The Bellamy for all ages.

Bellamy really satisfies.

Try Bellamy, you'll like it.

All you need is a Bellamy and a dream.

You've always got time for Ballamy

If only everything in life was as dependable as a Bellamy .   (sigh, I can only WISH that was true)

okay, enough of that.

 
 

and I didn't even mention the one that said Making Bellamy taste better.....

 
 

ha.

 
 

I need help.  I need serious help.

 

The Saga of the Cake

Jul 28, 2007

so we were going to throw this surprise anniversary party for Ray and Kathy.  It was recently their 25th anniversary, and we think that deserves a party.

 

So we (Calvin, me, Kelly and Nikki, Kevin and Stacey) resolve to have this party.

We pick a date, a place, a menu and buy some decorations...all that good stuff.

I think it would be nice to have a cake.  A wedding cake.  Well, okay, an Anniversary Cake...but that's mostly the same thing.  Same cake, different topper. Right?

 

and I, in my brilliant innocence (innocent brilliance???), decide to get the cake from the Slaton Bakery because as we ALL know, Slaton Bakery is West Texas' best kept secret, and their cakes are to DIE for.  Honestly, best cake ever.

 

So we drive over to Slaton, and pick out a cake. It's well after this point that the logistics of transporting a wedding cake 100 miles on a July afternoon make me go 'hmmmm'.  But you know what?  I have a big truck.  There's room to sit the cake.  There's an air conditioner vent in the back of the truck.  No biggie.  Right?

 

right.

So we pick up the cake, and off we go.  Air conditioner blasting the whole way.  Rock was in the back seat asleep under a blanket.  I couldn't feel my toes.  But the cake was doing fine.

We got to Odessa, and stopped (for five minutes) at Nanny's house to get some pictures.  It might have taken us a little more than five minutes.  We MEANT to stop for five minutes.  Maybe it was thirty minutes.  I don't know.

 

What i do know, is when we went back to the truck, I looked through the back window to see how the cake was doing.  the cake was doing fine....just fine.

 

the icing, unfortunately, was not doing so good.  The icing was mostly melted, laying in these big mushy heaps around the bottom of the cake.  There was a lot of bare cake looking back at me through that window.  Bare cake that was just screaming "WHY DID  YOU LEAVE ME ALONE IN THE CAR?!?!?!!? YOU KNOW THAT ISN'T GOOD!"

But hey, we all make mistakes.  Right?  Maybe not with cakes that are that expensive, but it's not like I left my dog in the car while I went shopping or something. Come on... But I was not in a good mood after that. I was pretty damn cranky, to tell you the truth. But Calvin made a few calls and found a bakery that was willing (not excited, but willing) to redecorate the cake. so we drove across town to the bakery, and this very nice woman scraped away all the melted icing and redid the sides of the cake with brand new icing that looked just like it was supposed to look.

 

yeah, the icing on the sides of the cake looked great. Of course, this is about the time when I notice that the roses on the cake have changed colors.  ??  Um, those roses were purple when we left home, I KNOW they were. The bakery lady says "yeah, buttercream will fade....."

so now the cake has blue roses instead of purple roses.  Okay.  Deep breath.  I can live with that.  Honestly, they're a very lovely shade of blue. they are still a little purple down at the base, and then they turn blue, and it's actually really pretty.

but THEN I notice that the roses on the top layer of the cake did NOT change colors.  so now the top layer has purple roses, and the bottom layer has blue roses?

 

Well, maybe nobody will notice?  Maybe? 

the cake tasted good.  That's the important part.  Right?  Tasted wonderful.  :)

 

And it's the thought that counts.  Right?

 

there are pictures....but you have to promise not to laugh.  I might think this is funny in about forty years.

 

Cherry bombs

• Jul 28, 2007
  

  If you looked at my new pictures, you may have noticed the album titled Cherry Bombed.
  

   
   

  Well, there are a couple of things I should probably explain.  :)
  

  this is NOT habitual.  LOL   and, well, for the uninformed, a Cherry Bomb is a wonderful concoction available at the Texas Cafe which is also a good place to go hear live music.  On this particular night, we heard the Texas BelAirs who were wonderful, and quite entertaining. 
  

   
   

  the Cherry Bombs, well, it's like drinking a cherry slush.  Yum.  and you drink one, then you drink another one, and then you have one more, because they bring them to you in these convenient pitchers, you see....then you stand up to go to the ladies room, and realize that those are NOT just cherry slushes.  :)
  

   
   

  ha.  But anyway.  There were some really nice guys in the corner that kept flirting with Nikki and Andrea, and they sent the waitress over and said they wanted to buy them a drink, and she asked what they were drinking, and Nikki pointed to the ONE pitcher of Cherry Bombs that we bought.  Wait, maybe we bought two....anyway...so the waitress brought them each another PITCHER!
  

   
   

  wow.  So we had plenty of cherry bombs to go around, and we all ended up a little cherry bombed...but once again...we were NOT driving, and the drivers were NOT drinking.  So that's all good.  Right?  :)
  

   
   

  anyway.  It was fun, the band was good...I think I liked the dog song best.  LOL
  

I broke a nail on Friday

• Jul 24, 2007
  

  Current mood:amused
  

  It's not that I'm that concerned about the nail…not really. It'll grow back. They always do. It's hardly the first time I've broken a nail. But this time….well, I don't mean to be whiny, but this hurts.
  

  Here's the thing. The nail was pretty long, and it just snapped off. (opening my hood for the guy in the superlube. Next time I'll get out of the car and let THEM open the freakin hood) It snapped off clear down on my finger….like now the tip of my finger touches stuff instead of my nail touching it.( and you know, right, that it didn't totally snap off. It ripped all the way across EXCEPT for that last eighth of an inch, and I had to pull it off. I hate that.) This sucks. This is on my ring finger, btw…and now the whole end of my finger is kinda swollen and red, and it's tender…and when I'm typing, it hurts every time I have to type an s. or a w. or an x. See, doing that was excruciating.
  

  Well, maybe not excruciating…agonizing. No, that's not fair. It was just incredibly painful. Okay!!! Not incredibly painful, but it was painful. Aggravating. Annoying. It doesn't feel good, okay? L And do you have any idea how hard it is to type anything that makes sense without using an s?
  

  Try that sentence again. And do you have any idea how hard it I to type anything that make ene without uing an ?
  

  See, (ouch) that didn't make sense (ouch) at all.
  

  Sigh. (ouch)
  

  Good thing I don't have anything important to say (ouch) about Sally (ouch) selling (ouch) seashells (ouchouchouch) down by the seashore. (ouch OUCH!!!)
  

• All I'm saying is there are things in life that we all take for granted every day, and maybe we should try harder to appreciate them. So for everybody who can touch something right now with your ring finger without saying 'ouch'…hey…be grateful, would you?
  

  
   

My Dyslexic Tendencies

• Jul 3, 2007
  

  Okay, so it's not so bad.  I mean, I can read.  I read all the time.  But just every now and then....like there's this store across town that's called Rug Depot.  But their sign is all run together like one word, so it says RugDepot.  Right?
  

  But every time I look at it, I see Rudgepot.  I call the store Rudgepot.
  

  and just now, I had a moment.  But it might have just been my dirty mind.
  

  There was a link on the bottom of another page that said 'share your life with a few simple clicks'
  

   
   

  and I thought it said dicks.
  

   
   

  Share your life with a few simple dicks.
  

   
   

  maybe I just need new glasses.
  

  sigh.
  

Profound words

• Jun 29, 2007
  

  Current mood:contemplative
  

  this is short and sweet.  It just occurred to me earlier today that when I posted words to live by, I forgot something.  Something so important.
  

   
   

  I must share the immortal and ultimately profound words of ... Meatloaf.
  

   
   

  No, really.
  

   
   

  You're looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks,
  

  but there ain't no coupe de ville hiding at the bottom of a cracker jack box.
  

   
   

  I'll never be able to give you something,
  

  something that I just haven't got.
  

   
   

  and really....
  

  Two out of three ain't bad.
  

   
   

  I truly wish I had known this when I was twenty years younger.  LOL
  

   
   

  and here's one more gem from David Bellamy that I forgot...  :)
  

   
   

  She said "Girls just want to have fun, and boys just want to have sex...."
  

  and he said "I never could tell the difference...."
  

  
   

First jobs

Jun 29, 2007

Current mood:amused

We all learn things from our first jobs. Mine was in a church office, and I learned to answer the phone expecting any variety of strange conversations and attitudes. The people I remember best are these:

A couple who was married (but not to each other) who had attained an …um…inappropriate level of sympathy and commiseration for one another and the travails of their respective unhappy marriages. The woman would call the pastor almost daily, in tears, asking what she should do. Every time she called, the pastor would tell her what he believed she should do, then the next day she'd call again. I can only assume she was hoping he would change his mind. I suppose if you call often enough, eventually even a preacher will say "well, hell, honey. Maybe you should just leave your husband and be with the other guy…"

And my favorite lady in the whole church, who called me like clockwork on Friday afternoons because she was cleaning her phone and the only time she got to dial 0 was when she called the church. I should probably mention that this is WAY back in the dark ages when you actually had to DIAL phones….and my immediate thought the first time she called me and explained why was "omg…am I supposed to be cleaning my phone?"

But that was long ago and far away…(and dare I say it? So much better than it is today) anybody that knows where that came from gets my sincere congratulations. LOL

Let's see, I think my daughter's first job was working as a telephone solicitor…and she learned to hate those people equally from both sides of the issue. She also learned that she hated going to work, so after about a week she stopped doing it. J

My oldest son worked at a restaurant, and he learned (as he puts it ) 'a Lot about how to get along with people, and clean up messes, and take shit from co-workers and how to cook'. Not an altogether bad experience, I guess.

The twins started their first job this week, and so far they've learned that they hate cleaning up after whiny little spoiled rich ass college kids that can't even freaking walk to the trash chute. Carson said to me "they just leave their trash outside their door, and I go pick it up and take it to the trash chute for them. How are they ever going to learn if I do it for them?"

Man, that was funny.

 

Words to Live by

I had forgotten about my old myspace blog.  funny stuff.  enjoy. ;)

Aug 26, 2007

I frequently receive bulletins or emails that ask questions like 'what is your favorite song' or 'favorite movie' or 'what book changed your life'…these types of questions.

 

This is entirely too hard to answer. I've read hundreds of books. Probably thousands of books, and I've watched more movies than I can remember… rarely do I run across a book or movie that changes my life.

I can't narrow down a favorite book or movie, but I can give you favorite lines from books, favorite scenes from movies. And songs…favorite lines from songs.

I've been thinking for a while about collecting a list of my favorite lines. J

In no particular order, here are quotes from books, movies, and songs that stick in my mind, and have probably entirely too much meaning for me.

 

from Lonesome Dove (yes, it IS the best movie ever made....)

 

Life is still just life, and the only way to get through it is to learn to appreciate the little things…    

                

I hate rude behavior in a man... I won't tolerate it…

            

It's living in this town that does it.

 

By God, Woodrow, you'd argue with astump.

        **************************************

from Chase Calder (okay, okay...NoraRoberts)

            

If you're the biggest and the best, then people will see it. If you aren't, you should really keep your mouth shut.

        ***************************************

and Rhett Butler. no, I guess that would be Margeret Mitchell...    

 

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

        ****************************************

        

I don't want to spend my life jaded waiting..to wake up one day and find that I let all these years g oby…wasted.

Hillary Lindsey/Troy Verges/Marv Green

(as sung by CarrieUnderwood)

 

There's a five dollar finefor whining…

…ChrisLeDoux

Lord, I hope this day isgood.

…DonWilliams

But there's no road to get meback to September in Abilene

…JakeKellen

I thought happiness was Lubbock, Texas in my rearview mirror…now happiness is Lubbock, Texas growing nearer and nearer.

…Mac Davis

Since you're leaving anyway ,take out the trash.

Title of the book – DixieCash

I'd save thereceptionist…

From The Office…Jim aboutPam

*******************************************

        words of wisdom from John Oates.

            

To play to get rich and die baroque is wrong.

                   

Too scared to reach out, maybe afraid of what they'll find. But a hand stuck in a pocket comes up empty every time.

         

        

Hearts get broken when the words I love you go unspoken.

******************************************    

and....things that David Bellamy said.  :)

 

It's hard to leave yourself behind.

            

Our optimism mingles with the doom.

            

All of those dreams from her younger days quickly dwindle with her middle age…now she knows exactly what she is and always will be….

            

Pull over on my shoulder, darling...off the highway of regret.            

    
 

No, you don't want to be any younger, not unless you could know then what you know now…but oh, you don't want to get any older…you're just looking for the fountain of middle age

That's not what it takes to love me…you fool, you fool.

            

Sometimes you gotta get a little crazy to keep from going insane.

            

And I pause for a moment to bring you this quote from my life.

    You want to go see the Bellamy Brothers AGAIN?!?!?!?!

      Calvin Roquemore

 

Either way I'm fine, but don't waste my time…make up your damned mind.

         

I may be a little bit smarter but I sure do believe, that life was whole lot better when I was a little naive.

a lot of love and a little laughter, you'll find out that's all that really matters.

If you're reading fast and not really paying attention, pay attention to this.

a lot of love and a little laughter, you'll find out that's all that really matters.

and in case you don't know...IALWAYS want to go see the Bellamy Brothers again. :)

    

And finally…from my favorite new t-shirt, featuring two of Snow White's dwarfs…

                               I'm Grumpy cause you're Dopey.

        That's enough for today. I'll be back when I've had time to look through my favorite books and refresh my memory. I don't want to quote inaccurately. J